Out on a limb, apparently

The following post is a last vestige of an illuminating spoken communication (It could by no means be called a conversation, that would imply more than one participant was talking) that I need to get out of my system. More plainly put it can be considered a WTF post! So feel free to skip my ravings and move on to more coherent posts!

And I should probably mention that I know this is one sided and completely out of context . . . .

Lets say that you are quite upset with someone very close to you. Over a significant period of time they have developed certain habits and ways of dealing with things that you cannot in good conscience (oh screw good conscience, it's just unacceptable) ignore and you, on more than one occasion have expressed your feelings about this behavior and the need for something to be done about it. Promises to do something and apologies are made and you move on hoping for change, only to go a few months and find yourselves in the same spot having no surprise a shocking case of deja vu. So, moving on, this pattern has repeated itself many times {sidenote: keep in mind there is a laundry list of things that this person does pretty much daily that would make most people mad and yet I just let it go} and you have just had enough and have been upset for days, but due to timing and that persons unavailability to you, you have not been able to explain what is on your mind. And then at a really crappy time, oh lets say midnight when you've been woken up, the person decides to talk about why you are mad. Saying, I know you are mad, but you haven't given up have you and you reply that you are getting worn out by it. Then they continue on to how they know why you are mad, don't blame you for being mad, tell you that you have every right to be mad etc. and then stop {this is the WTF part} these words come out:

him: "You know you really don't have any reason to be any more tired of me than I have been of you."

him: "But, I don't want to argue with you and I have been wrong, blah, blah, blah"

It got hard to follow at that point, because it was sinking in that what he had been apologizing for were the things that I can deal with, the things that I have come to expect and overlook. ~You know the things that you decide you can live with because they'll work themselves out and they aren't worth bickering over continually.~ With this realization sinking in I tried to get out that he was confused and give an accurate account of those things that were making me upset, but to no avail he didn't hear me.
I guess I'm just wondering how I can be so far out here on this limb reaching in and he's reaching in the wrong direction to pull me back! Oh, and not to mention WHO stops in the middle of an apology to rationalize their behavior by blaming the person they are apologizing to and accepting guilt. Is it just me or does that totally negate the apology?!

I know, I know, this post makes no sense, the only clear thing is who I'm irritated with. Anyway, just had to let it out so that maybe it would quit festering.