If you need a good laugh read on. . . . . . . .

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the wordsback...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are Testimonials of afew women who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY:I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn'tsay a word...he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who work at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, Ilooked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

THIRD TESTIMONY:My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store th! at sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm justlooking at ? your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boygrinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my Sisterhas never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY:While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of herafter receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I toldher that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished.To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just asthreatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma thatI saw you kissing Daddy's p ee-pee last night!" The silence was deafeningafter this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they weredoing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bankwith my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closedbehind me were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:?Have you ever asked your child a particular question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was onhim constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so, of course, I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then, I realized that Danny had not asked to go pot-ty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go,and he said "No". I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I do n't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied! . I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeksand yelled, "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FAR-TS!!" While 30 people nearly chokedto death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and satdown. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laughthey'd ever had!

LAST TESTIMONY:This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow -- but don't get any....a true story. We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman andasked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Notonly did HE have to l! eave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

Now, didn't that feel good? Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh. You are not a human being having a spiritual experience, but a spiritual being having a human experience.

I recieved this in an email this morning and laughed so hard I decided I had to share it here!!!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS! already. . . .

I just can't believe that Thanksgiving is ten (10) days away! And Christmas right around that corner. We were going somewhere the other night and I glanced over to see a fully decorated (lights on and all) Christmas tree in someone's window. Talk about getting a jumpstart on something. I generally wait until the weekend after Thanksgiving to get out the decorations and convince my husband to buy a tree. (of course that usually ends with me threatening to go buy a fake tree and him suddenly bringing one home) I'm definitely not complaining this is my favorite time of year and I have actually started my shopping, I was just shocked to realize just how close it all is. Not to mention I'm totally freaked out by the thought that this baby may come way early and well, I really need to work until at least the 15th so that we have that money for bills and Christmas! We've had an exceptionally rough year and have NO money put back for Christmas and I generally get a very large bonus a couple of days before Christmas and I don't know if I'll get it this year, depending on when I have to take off with the baby and all. I am so praying that my boss will still give it to me. We've become fairly dependent on that large amount of money right then! So everyone cross your fingers and say you prayers!
I haven't done much lately to report, we've had no drama's like the Diva and her blood spurting child or yellow jacket infested closet (and boy am I ever so glad for that!) It does however seem that she is the unwilling participant in more than her share of (funny, but) odd situations!
How is it that my loveseat is always covered in clean laundry (which I guess is better than dirty laundry) and I cannot seem to keep clothes folded and put away. My house will be fairly clean, but always looks trashed due to said laundry! Yikes, and we're adding a body that will inevitably have to be clothed thus more laundry! I guess it's hopeless.

It's 69 degrees here today, tomorrow they're saying high 50's so it'll be more like 60's because today was supposed to have a high of 60. And I just looked at Weather Underground and Minneapolis has a 90% chance of snow tomorrow.

Well I guess I should get some work done. . . . . . . . .

Happy November!!!

Now if only someone would remind mother nature that it is November. Actually, I shouldn't complain it has been beautiful out. Just weird, 80 degrees, every window in the house open and still hot!! But since I am still driving to and from work three days a week I don't mind the weather being good!! Since my wreck in May I have little desire to drive in the rain, so I'm just guessing but I figure the ice will make me a nervous wreck now!

I finally started Christmas shopping. I figure I had better get it done, because if the baby ends up being early that would make Christmas shopping harder. I do plan on going early the day after Thanksgiving, do every year, crazy I know but I enjoy it and there are great sales. I don't know what to get for our oldest daughter. They usually get their 'Santa' gift (that's generally their big gift) and then a couple outfits and little things. Well I am at a loss as to what her big gift should be. Our youngest wants a karoke machine that hooks up to the tv.

Well I have a mess with the office Discover card I have to fix so I have to be done with the post! Have a wonderful evening.

Original, well ummmm no, not today..... I'll try again later

Here's my results to the quiz thingy initiated by APRIL -


Dominant Personality: Understanding
Good Traits: You gravitate towards people,
and are a shoulder to lean on. You give advice
at any given time.
Bad Traits: You aren't close with any one
person. You immerse yourself in other people's
problems and forget your own.
People see you as: Friendly, secretive, and
popular. People envy you, and may try and use
you as a tool
You're most like: Grace. You both have
positive relationships with people. Neither of
you have close friends, but unlike graceful
people, you try to help people out and aren't
as arrogant.
You need more: Solitude. You hardly get the
chance to breathe when you take on the world's
problems. You can't take other's
responsibilities or put them before your own.
Be selfish once in a while and discover who you
really are.

What's your dominant trait? (10 unique results)
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